Momma said there'd be days like this

Did I used to fight this much with my siblings? I'm sure I did?! What is the deal. Some days I feel like the kids can get along great. They play nicely together. Seek each other out for entertainment, enjoy each others company. Then there are other days, like today, where they can't stand each other. They can't even be in the same room with each other with out nagging, hitting, and fighting. They seem so consumed with what the other is doing wrong and doing to bug the other they can't function.

To add to it there are days, like today, when they test you as a parent to your ultimate limit. They make you question if you are doing anything right. If you have taught them anything about boundaries, limits, love, obedience. Today the girls, Mallory in particular gave us a run for our money. She has been testing limits and boundaries big time for the past few days. You say run she walks, you say stand she sits, you say stop she keeps going/doing. Her will astounds me at times. I know as a parent, (I think) that I am supposed to out last that will. It was so hard to do today.

Matt and I usually can do a pretty good job of"tag-teaming". If one of us has hit our limit the other one steps in to take over. Today, Mallory had us both at our limit before we even got to church. Then she had the teachers at Sunday school at their limit too! Not fun to get out of church feeling refreshed to hear your child was having "behavioral problems" in class. It just kept building all day long. We finally just had to put her to bed early. It crushed her and it crushed me. She was so sad and angry. I hated to see her so upset. But what do I do. I clearly stated the consequence to her behavior. I already felt like we had let it slide too much throughout the day. I had to put my foot down. After about her fourth time of getting out of bed hysterical, I just broke down crying. Questioning if what I was doing was worth it. If what I was doing was correct.

Why do our kids act out like this? I know all kids do it..right? Are our kids doing it more often than they should? Are they acting out to something I am doing or not doing as a parent? Am I handling things correctly? Am I a good parent? If our kids are reflections of us, then what can I do to be a better example? Do our children know that I love them no matter what? I want Mallory to know that I love her even though I had to punish her in an extreme way.

I am not looking for answers from anyone to those questions. I am just writing out my thoughts, sifting through the emotional roller coaster I was on all day. I pray tomorrow will be a better day.