Gift of Life

Growing up my family fostered new born babies. Now with all the changes in adoption there really is no need for the kind of foster care we gave to babies. Adoptions are all open, with birth parents and adoptive parents knowing one another. It was always such an amazing feeling the day the new parents came to pick up the baby from our house. It was their delivery day. They would have a new outfit for the baby to go home in, just like parents do at the hospital. They would be overwhelmed with joy and crying tears of happiness. You couldn't help but cry and share in their overwhelming excitement.

Which brings me to my desire to be a gestational surrogate. I have been talking about doing something like this for several years now. What an amazing gift to be able to give a family who can not have children. Since Rachel has been born Matt and I have been discussing it more seriously and doing more research. We didn't come up with much until a family in our church became a surrogate for some one else. I got the chance to talk to someone first hand. That was almost a year ago and still nothing. No opportunities, no contact with potential parents.

About three weeks ago I was praying about it. I became resolved with myself and with God, that if it was going to happen He would make it happen. I decided that I wasn't going to seek it out anymore and I wasn't going to worry about it.

Out of the blue, I have received requests from three different families looking for a gestational surrogate, in the past two days. I have talked with two of the families. Both seem to be great people. But talking to the families is just the first step of many to come. Matt and I are praying God would lead our path to the right family. We are really looking forward to being able to help a family out, but want to make sure it is all with in Gods will.

Happy Birthday!

Our Little princess is four today! Happy Birthday Mally-Moose! We love you so much!

Well since my last post things haven't exactly gotten better. I ended up with the stomach flu on Monday and I am still not feeling all that well. Matt got it yesterday. Mallory and Rachel have already had it. I pray it doesn't hit the other three kids.

Rachel had been clingy and screaming non-stop the last two days! So fun!

Lisa, is that beach still calling you? I think I am going to ditch the family over Spring break and go to Aruba. You ready?

Momma said there'd be days like this

Did I used to fight this much with my siblings? I'm sure I did?! What is the deal. Some days I feel like the kids can get along great. They play nicely together. Seek each other out for entertainment, enjoy each others company. Then there are other days, like today, where they can't stand each other. They can't even be in the same room with each other with out nagging, hitting, and fighting. They seem so consumed with what the other is doing wrong and doing to bug the other they can't function.

To add to it there are days, like today, when they test you as a parent to your ultimate limit. They make you question if you are doing anything right. If you have taught them anything about boundaries, limits, love, obedience. Today the girls, Mallory in particular gave us a run for our money. She has been testing limits and boundaries big time for the past few days. You say run she walks, you say stand she sits, you say stop she keeps going/doing. Her will astounds me at times. I know as a parent, (I think) that I am supposed to out last that will. It was so hard to do today.

Matt and I usually can do a pretty good job of"tag-teaming". If one of us has hit our limit the other one steps in to take over. Today, Mallory had us both at our limit before we even got to church. Then she had the teachers at Sunday school at their limit too! Not fun to get out of church feeling refreshed to hear your child was having "behavioral problems" in class. It just kept building all day long. We finally just had to put her to bed early. It crushed her and it crushed me. She was so sad and angry. I hated to see her so upset. But what do I do. I clearly stated the consequence to her behavior. I already felt like we had let it slide too much throughout the day. I had to put my foot down. After about her fourth time of getting out of bed hysterical, I just broke down crying. Questioning if what I was doing was worth it. If what I was doing was correct.

Why do our kids act out like this? I know all kids do it..right? Are our kids doing it more often than they should? Are they acting out to something I am doing or not doing as a parent? Am I handling things correctly? Am I a good parent? If our kids are reflections of us, then what can I do to be a better example? Do our children know that I love them no matter what? I want Mallory to know that I love her even though I had to punish her in an extreme way.

I am not looking for answers from anyone to those questions. I am just writing out my thoughts, sifting through the emotional roller coaster I was on all day. I pray tomorrow will be a better day.

What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?!???!!!

Today started the three oldest kids basketball and cheerleading season. WOW! For the next month and a half our Saturdays mornings will not be filled with sleeping in, Saturday morning cartoons, or being in your Pj's until noon. Nope, none of that will be occurring at our house, not that sleeping in ever happens (unless Grandparents are here). Jack's games start at 8:30am. We have to be at the church at 8:15am. Which means we need to be up and crackin' at 6:45am. ON SATURDAY!!!!! Then we have a little more than and hour in between Jack's game and Avery's cheering. So, not enough time to go home, and too much time to just sit around and do nothing. I packed games and books to help keep the kids entertained. Jack and I played Go Fish while Matt and the girls played another card game inbetween Rachel radomly escaping and trying to run out onto the court! The bag full of entertaining goodies only lasted for about 20 minutes...lol. Avery cheers at 11am then right after Dalton plays at noon. So today we were literally at the bball courts from 8am-1:30. The kids were all smiles(except the two who weren't playing sports). They all were very excited the season had started and all did very well.

It scares me that the crazy and hectic schedule we have now includes only three out of five kids in sports. Lord help us when they all have somewhere to be and all in different locations!